Patricia Feinberg Stoner wrote the funniest book that I have read this year, and now she has written The Little Book of Rude Limericks. I can’t wait to read more from this author with a keen sense of the ridiculous.
Patricia Feinberg Stoner has been writing limericks since she was ten and she has now compiled The Little Book of Rude Limericks. I am incredibly privileged to present an exclusive extract from The Little Book of Rude Limericks, prior to the publication on 15th November. I insisted that the brilliant comedy genius, Patricia Feinberg Stoner, introduce her limericks to the readers.
Dear Readers,
I just love limericks! There’s hardly an occasion that can’t be turned to humour with one of these ridiculous five-line verses. I’ve been writing them ever since I discovered the wonderful complete Limerick Book edited by Langford Reed. The result is ‘The Little Book of Rude Limericks’. Most of them are naughty rather than really rude but – beware! – there are exceptions…
What I love about this verse form is that you can shoe-horn in the most outrageous and far-fetched rhymes (for example, elsewhere in the book I’ve rhymed Norwich with porridge and storage). As the limericks in the book are set on both sides of the channel, I thought that Paris versus Paree would be a perfect example.
I hope you’ll find room for this little book in your handbag. As Oscar Wilde nearly said, you should always have something amusing to read on the train. And if you should feel tempted to try your hand at the limerick, do please share your verse with me on Facebook (Paw Prints in the Butter).
Wishing you laughter,
Patricia Feinberg Stoner
A giggle of limericks extract especially for Books in my Handbag
It’s all in the pronunciation!
Two young fellows who went on a spree
In the town that the French call Paree,
Have come home with a germ
That makes them both squirm
And burns quite a lot when they pee.
Or alternatively…
You may try, but you’ll never embarrass
An insouciant native of Paris.
If caught in flagrante
They smile and say: ‘Santé!’
Quite impossible, really to harass
From the north of England…
A greedy young fellow from York
Was exceptionally fond of roast pork.
When he saw the dish come
He’d cry ‘Yummy, yum-yum!’
And excitedly flourish his fork.
to the south of France…
A cheerful young fellow named Trev
Went off for a romp in Lodève.
But he soon lost his smile
When he caught something vile
In a house of delight called Mon Rêve.
this little book of limericks – mostly naughty rather than downright rude (but there are exceptions!) – ranges far and wide. Open it and learn how a knight-errant with a lisp can still command respect; how ladies on the autoroute don’t give their favours away for free, and how tajine is really only a posh word for stew.
Forget Christmas crackers and the tired jokes! I suggest that you buy your guests a copy of The Rude Book of Limericks and enjoy a laughter battle as you search for the best limerick. I have pre-ordered a copy of this book and will race to review this as quickly as I can.
Reading Lizzie Lamb’s novel is akin to battling with a stubborn, smouldering fire. But, oh- the sparks, the danger and the thrill. Well done, Lizzie Lamb! DANGER FIREWORKS!
‘Two households both alike in dignity, in fair’ Door County ‘where we lay our scene / Two star-crossed lovers take their lives’ into their own hands when they meet. DANGER FIREWORKS!
‘Cool, assured India Jane Buchanan’ meets ‘a man used to having his own way.’ Logan Macfarlane looks at her ‘with such calculation’ but can he charm this lady from the Buchanan clan? ‘What ever India Jane Buchanan set her mind to she usually achieved.’ As the ‘ancient grudge breaks to new mutiny’; get ready for a firework display in Wisconsin. Like Cathy, in Wuthering Heights she discovers something ‘wild and untamed’ about Logan. This is a modern take on the star-crossed lovers meets Jane Austen, Bronte and sassy Jilly Cooper. This book is best served with ice to cool down the ‘pyrotechnics’ between the feisty characters.
Escape to this glorious setting with the ‘star-crossed’ lovers
Like the Capulets and Montagues, there is a family feud between the Macfarlanes and Buchanans but be prepared for the independent spirit and opportunity seeking characters. The historical context of the feud adds depth to the narrative. I adore the way in which relationships from different generations are presented. I believe our character traits are inherited and run through the generations. The ‘couple of rogues’ who were India and Logan’s ancestors gave them the fighting spirit and the privilege.
Visit a penthouse in Chicago. I am in awe of Lizzie’s ability to bring the characters to life while carrying the reader into the heart of the conflict.
Lamb cleverly establishes the sexual tension. This is a book with a strong female and male heroine and I loved it. The dialogue is sheer brilliance. I am in awe of Lizzie’s ability to bring the characters to life while carrying the reader into the heart of the conflict. This is clever writing! Throughout this lively, controlled and confident style, I can sense the author luxuriating in the narrative, setting and characters. How wonderful to escape to a condominium and boutique B&B with such sparky characters.
As I speeded along with the narrative, I laughed throughout. Only a seasoned comedy writer can deliver a smart comedy with such finesse. For instance, at a time when India does almost succumb she explains that ‘she was swooning in the sun like some Jane Austen heroine. Glancing down, she was relieved to see her bosom wasn’t heaving in the prescribed manner.’ Hilarious modern take on this.
Besides the humour and fast-past exchanges, there are also tender moments between the characters.
Besides the humour and fast-past exchanges, there are also tender moments between the characters. Although wealthy, both characters have suffered from emotional deficits from their parents and this is explored. Lamb explores the background of her characters and I enjoyed getting to know them. Presentation of both characters’ perspectives enhances the texture of the novel. Wisdom from the older characters also presents a spotlight on love and experience. Logan’s grandfather says, ‘Procrastination is the thief of time’, and the fast pace of the novel explores this.
This is a thoroughly modern romance populated with independent, strong characters. Logan has got ‘chutzpah’ but has been warned about Buchanan women. So – call the fire brigade! Reading Lizzie Lamb’s novel is akin to battling with a stubborn, smouldering fire. But, oh- the sparks, the danger and the thrill. Well done, Lizzie Lamb!
Notes:
Words in italics are remembered from my O Level studies of Romeo and Juliet’s prologue.
India Buchanan plans to set up an English-Style bed and breakfast establishment in her great-aunt’s home, MacFarlane Landing, Wisconsin. But she’s reckoned without opposition from Logan MacFarlane whose family once owned her aunt’s house and now want it back. MacFarlane is in no mood to be denied. His grandfather’s living on borrowed time and Logan has vowed to ensure the old man sees out his days in their former home. India’s great-aunt has other ideas and has threatened to burn the house to the ground before she lets a MacFarlane set foot in it. There’s a story here. One the family elders aren’t prepared to share. When India finds herself in Logan’s debt, her feelings towards him change. However, the past casts a long shadow and events conspire to deny them the love and happiness they both deserve. Can India and Logan’s love overcome all odds? Or is history about to repeat itself?
After teaching her 1000th pupil and working as a deputy head teacher in a large primary school, Lizzie decided to pursue her first love: writing. She joined the Romantic Novelists’ Association’s New Writers’ Scheme, wrote Tall, Dark and Kilted (2012), quickly followed by Boot Camp Bride. Although much of her time is taken promoting her novels she published Scotch on the Rocks, which achieved Best Seller status within two weeks of appearing on Amazon. Her next novel, Girl in the Castle, reached #3 in the Amazon charts. Lizzie is a founder member of indie publishing group – New Romantics Press, and has co-hosted author events at Aspinall, St Pancras and Waterstones, Kensington, talking about writing and the research which underpins her novels. Lizzie’s latest romance Take Me, I’m Yours is set in Wisconsin, a part of the USA which she adores. She has further Scottish-themed romances planned and this summer will tour the Scottish Highlands in her caravan researching men in kilts. What’s not to like? As for the years she spent as a teacher, they haven’t quite gone to waste as she is building up a reputation as a go-to speaker on indie publishing, and how to plan, write, and publish a debut novel. Lizzie lives in Leicestershire (UK) with her husband, David.
Reading this book is like delving into a large slice of Tiramisu: a pick me up dessert with a bitter sweet balance of perfection.
Embark on a series of adventures with Mavis and Dot but prepare yourself for a roller coaster of emotions. Humour and adorable, eccentric characters present a commentary on modern Britain. Reading Angela Petch’s ‘Mavis and Dot’ is like delving into a large slice of Tiramisu: the pick me up dessert with a bitter sweet balance of perfection.
Like a quintessential seaside town, Mavis and Dot have Britishness stamped through their charming identities. Though they are as different as builders’ tea and Lapsang Souchong, they are both women of a certain age from the same generation. The contrast between this couple of friends makes them so endearing you don’t want to leave them. Beneath the façade of flamboyant Mavis and straight-laced Dot, there are secrets and loneliness. Loneliness is a cruel companion who can be banished with the warmth of a cuppa and chat. Peel away the faded glory of Mavis and Dot to reveal their secrets and warm hearts. I guarantee this story will warm your heart.
‘Mavis and Dot’ celebrates the eccentricities of Britishness but appeals to everyone.
Wonderful humour is presented through the characters and the author’s powers of observation. I was drawn into the story with Mrs Gallsworthy whose ‘cameo necklace dangled like a climber hanging on for dear life over a precipice.’ We have all met these characters, yet only Petch could capture this personality so beautifully. Humour is contrasted with pathos to form a vivid impression of the characters’ lives. Mavis’s only photo of her lover is a framed photo of an image cut out of the funeral order of service, but she manages to search for some joy in the sadness. Her penchant for Italian men, fuelled by her liaison with her lover, takes Mavis on a challenging journey of discovery.
‘Women of a certain age from the same generation.’
Dot describes Mavis as ‘the salt of the earth’. Mavis’s kindness opens a new world for Dot. Though Dot has her own eccentricities such as sleeping on cushions with the windows open: an eccentricity that is both funny and sad. Dot’s reflections on love made me giggle when she compares falling in love to catching mumps. She explains, ‘… it’s fine catching mumps when you’re young but it’s tricky when you’re older. It hits you harder.’ Hilarious observations hit you throughout the narrative but digging deeper often creates a lump in your throat. For instance, the scene where Mavis models for a group of artists captures the combination of humour and poignancy perfectly.
The unlikely friends enjoy shopping in charity shops while seeking sanctuary in the various tea shops. It was comforting to settle in ‘the cosy fug’ of the cafés while they search for a ‘a large helping of happiness’ as they shelter from the storm of loneliness. Both ladies are from an era that ‘learned to keep their feelings buttoned up’. One hopes they will help each other to find out more about themselves. The house doesn’t have to be ‘too quiet’ if you open your door to others.
This clever, touching and powerful writing leaves you thinking. Life can’t be all fairground rides and candyfloss: visiting the seaside is different in the mature years, yet it is possible to make the most of it. Happiness can be sought in the company of others, but when alone we must comfortable with ourselves. Reading this book will provide the comfort of nostalgia, cake and a good old fashioned giggle with these characters. I loved this celebration of life painted with vivid brushstrokes of humour.
Angela Petch is a #1 bestselling author who also writes for People’s Friend. All proceeds from the sale of this book will be donated to a cancer charity. ‘Mavis and Dot’ celebrates the eccentricities of Britishness but appeals to everyone.
Meet the author who is going in search of more adventures for Mavis and Dot.
I’m an award-winning writer of fiction – and the occasional poem. In 2018, I was contracted by Bookouture with a two-book deal. The first, a slightly amended version of “Tuscan Roots”, will come out in June 2019. A brand new second Tuscan novel is scheduled for Spring 2020.
Every summer I move to Tuscany for six months where my husband and I own a renovated watermill which we let out to holidaymakers from across the globe. When not exploring our unspoiled corner of the Apennines, I disappear to my writing desk at the top of our converted stable.
In my Italian handbag or hiking rucksack I always make sure to store notebook and pen, for I never know when an idea for a story might strike and I don’t want it to drift away.
The winter months are spent in Sussex where most of our family live. When I’m not helping out with grandchildren, I catch up with writer friends and enjoy walking along the sea, often quite moody in the winter months but inspiring. I’ve lived abroad for most of my life, including several childhood years in Italy. After graduating with honours in Italian at the University of Kent at Canterbury, I worked for a short spell for The Times, before moving to new employment in Amsterdam. The job relocated to Sicily, where I met my half-Italian husband. We married near Urbino and then went to live for three magical years in Tanzania. Wherever I travel I store sights, sounds and memories for stories I feel compelled to record.
This coffee shop, in Cardiff Bay, is one of my favourite writing places.
This coffee shop, in Cardiff Bay, is one of my favourite writing places. I like to abandon my laptop for a notebook and pen. There is something reassuring about forming every single letter with my biro. With the onset of autumn, I remembered a blog post I forgot to publish last October, because I had been absorbed in the agony of the editing process. I wrote this post when editing You Can’t Go It Alone.
My imagination roams free in this setting.
Once my coffee cup is empty, I let the pen wander across the page. Hoping to catch some dialogue from the unsuspecting customers, I listen with my best writer’s ear. I am happy here in this café suspended above the water. Alas, the sound of my beeping phone collides head on with my imagination. I stop writing and must look at the email from an insurance company. I wonder if writers had less distractions prior to the digital age, so I google ‘writing quotations’.
Virginia Woolf pops up on my phone, but she doesn’t look happy and she says:
Sitting on the dock in the Bay wasting words
‘Lock up your libraries if you like; but there is no gate, no lock, no bolt that you can set upon the freedom of my mind.’
Obviously, Virginia never had to cope with the disruptive influence of a mobile phone. I decide my imagination has been temporarily locked by my phone: it is a twenty first century condition called ‘beepitis’. Fortunately, I do not need to re-boot my imagination as it starts up again. I am trying to re-work a menacing scene in my book. Hoping to get inspiration, I look at the murky water from the window. Despite the distracting background noise, I make a list of adjectives. The shopping list of words stares at me, defying me to write something coherent. It is useless!
I decide to drive home via Cardiff Docks to gather some words for a scene in my novel. It is a sinister setting.
I decide to drive home via Cardiff Docks to gather some words. I drive off absorbing the atmosphere of the autumn’s day and watch the leaves dance across the road. Almost forgetting to stop at the red light, I look out for the sign to the docks, but realise I am driving over a new road. I hate the massive construction with barriers at each side. Finally, I drive through the docks and stop to pull over to make some notes for finishing touches to a scene. I am considered with suspicion. I ignore the onlookers and write until my car beeps me to tell me there is something wrong with a filter.
Clearly, I need ‘a room of my own’ to write.
Time to go home to my laptop: time to find ‘a room of one’s own’, time to sculpt my manuscript and stop wasting time and listing words. The truth is the book is almost done but I don’t want to let the characters live their lives without me.
My book costs less than the price of a coffee and will last longer.
You Can’t Go It Alone has been available since May. I have been delighted with the reviews. Reviewers have enjoyed visiting Delfryn and getting to know the inhabitants. The agony of the editing process was worth it, as it helped readers to connect. In celebration of my thirteenth review, I am reducing the cost of the kindle format next week. Of course, I would be delighted to receive more reviews. My book is less than half the price of a coffee and will last longer. Indeed, one reviewer wrote:
‘An intricate, thoughtful story of real people whose life will continue long after the author has typed the end’ Perdisma, Amazon reviewer
Here is a snapshot of my most recent reviews:
Reviewers have enjoyed visiting Delfryn and getting to know the inhabitants.
‘It’s a roller-coaster of a novel in which the beautiful Welsh countryside and weather take a leading role. I was gripped by these characters, and by Cahalin’s fascinating touches.’ Professor Maggie Humm
‘The author has a real feeling for character and place… Her ideas around plot and how a story unfolds are original, and well executed, with a good balance of lightness and shade.’ Welsh Annie, top 500 Amazon Reviewer
You Can’t Go It Alone is available on Amazon.
‘The author is not afraid to face life’s most challenging problems head on. What appeals about the novel is that she does not ‘go on crusade’ but underpins these problems with a deep, rich humanity …’ John Broughton, author
‘Complex and vivid tapestry of a story’ Jena. C. Henry, USA author, blogger and reviewer
‘As a debut novel, You Can’t Go It Alone is an accomplished read. Eloquent, moving and packed with vivid imagery…’ Audrey Davis
Lizzie wore a very glamorous blue and white blouse and jeans.
Lizzie Lamb’s blue VW camper attracted admirers at Urquhart Castle, Scotland. The engine purred obediently, as Lizzie expertly manoeuvred the vintage beauty into a parking space, overlooking Loch Ness. Excited to see the van featured in Boot Camp Bride, I patted the gleaming bonnet.
The door opened, Lizzie emerged and invited me inside. She wore a very glamorous blue and white blouse and jeans.
Lizzie Lamb’s blue VW camper parked at Urquhart Castle.
While she prepared some tea in the compact kitchen, I opened a tin of Scottish shortbread, with a picture of Nessie on the tin, and managed to drop biscuits on the pristine table. Laughing, Lizzie helped me to clear up the mess. A copy of Lizzie’s novel, ‘Girl at the Castle’, invited me to peer inside. Lizzie’s books are always so beautifully designed and presented in a distinctive lilac colour, they match perfectly with my handbag.
Jessie: All of your books look like tempting gifts of lilac loveliness for the reader. If I open the book, then I will start to read it. Tell me about ‘Girl in the Castle’.
Lizzie: Fate takes Henriette Bruar to a Scottish castle where the laird’s family are in mourning over a tragedy which happened many years before. Cue a phantom piper, a lost Jacobite treasure, and a cast of characters who – with Henri’s help, encourage the family to confront the past and move on. As part of the healing process, Henriette falls in love with the laird’s son, Keir, and they achieve the happy ending they both deserve.
Jessie: The plot and setting sound thrilling. I know you write in a very natural and witty style. Can you tempt us with a couple of words from ‘Girl in the Castle’?
A beautifully designed novel in a handbag.
Lizzie: ‘Giving a superstitious shiver, Henriette acknowledged there were subtle forces at work in this ancient castle. Forces which wanted her and Keir to be together, forever.’
Jessie: This is so tempting! You craft the words so artfully. I know you have been longlisted for the Exeter Novel Prize. What did the reviewers say?
Lizzie opened up a folder on her laptop and read some reviews. I was sure I heard the distant sound of bagpipes, but Lizzie didn’t comment.
Lizzie: Ah, here they are. I’ll read three reviews.
Can you see Nessie?
‘I loved all the many elements in this novel: The location, history, slightly paranormal atmosphere, love lost and found, and a missing treasure. Not to forget gorgeous Keir MacKenzie, a hero to swoon over.’
‘This convincing romance beginning in conflict and distrust is set in stunning scenery which comes to life through Henri’s experiences and Keir’s enthusiasm for his birth right. A great read!’
‘Girl in the Castle is romantic, witty, interesting and you don’t want it to finish. I enjoyed all the characters – and the storyline. I laughed, gasped, and wished I were Henriette! I love the way Lizzie is knowledgeable about Scotland and shares this with the reader in a heartfelt way. A romantic novel with substance and wit – hurry up and write us the next one, please.’
Jessie: As expected the reviews wax lyrical about your writing. Having read one of your novels, I get the sense that you are very attached to the characters and this brings them to life so beautifully. Did you miss the characters of ‘Girl in the Castle’ when you had finished writing the novel?
Lizzie: When I finish a novel it’s always hard to say goodbye to the characters. Many of my readers feel the same and often ask for a sequel. However, although I miss the characters and the setting ,once I type THE END, that’s it for me. I leave the novel so that readers can imagine what would happen next . . . I think it has been hardest to say goodbye to Henri and Keir. And – mad writer alert – I still have conversations with them in my head and I know exactly what they’re doing now. I felt the same about Charlee and Rafa in Boot Camp Bride and Fliss and Ruairi in Tall, Dark and Kilted.
Lizzie Lamb viewing Castle Stalker: the inspiration for Girl in the Castle.
Lizzie opened a collection of photographs in a gallery. She left me to scroll through the images while she refilled the teapot. I was sure I heard the bagpipes again as I studied the photos.
Lizzie: We spend a month each year in Scotland. Castle Stalker on Loch Linnhe, near Oban is the inspiration behind Girl in the Castle.
Jessie: Of course, I have seen this iconic image on the front cover. I’d love to visit the castle and read all your novels. Who would you like to read your novels?
Lizzie: I would choose Jilly Cooper. I adored her earlier books: Emily, Prudence etc. and her bonk busters: Polo, Riders et al. I would like Jilly to read my books because that would be my way of saying: ‘thank you for inspiring me to become a writer, and for making it all seem possible’. If I’m allowed a second, more practical choice, I would thank Amazon for giving indie authors the means of getting their books ‘out there’ to a wide audience of readers.
Jessie: As an independent author, I notice your wealth of images and campaigns. Where do you get the photos from?
Lizzie: As a writer and blogger I am very aware of infringing copyright so I have subscribed to a couple of websites where I pay and download images: https://www.123rf.comhttps://www.dreamstime.comhttps://unsplash.com Other than that, I take my own photos with my iPhone wherever I go. A word of warning, don’t assume that images you see on Pinterest etc. are copyright free, always double check before uploading anything onto your sites. If in doubt, credit the artist/photographer.
Although, it was drizzling and grey outside, we decided to enjoy the Scottish weather. Meandering along the shores of Loch Ness, we both joked about meeting up with Monster.
Jessie: Tell me, why should I keep your novel in my handbag?
Lizzie: My book would be the ideal companion when you’re feeling at a low ebb because I write feel good books, set in wonderful locations, with humorous secondary characters and, most importantly, a hero to fall in love with. If you want a break from the usually run of the mill romances, try one of mine. Oh, and bring a large handbag, my paperbacks are 9”x5” and need lots of space.
Jessie: Don’t worry, I am always hunting for a new handbag. I think a tartan handbag is called for, after this trip. What is the last sentence written in your writer’s notebook?
Lizzie: Dialogue between the hero (Logan) and his grandfather written as bullet points (which is how I generally write dialogue in my first draft).
– do you love the girl?
– I guess I do, but . . .
– then what are you waiting for. Go get her. As the poet said: faint heart never won fair lady.
While Lizzie read her dialogue, I noticed a mysterious shadow in the water, and the skirl of bagpipes sounded closer. I think a certain Nessie may have been listening to the story. Neither of us commented because we just knew… Lizzie removed a delicate whisky flask from her handbag and we celebrated with a wee dram. Slainte!
Jessie: What is the biggest challenge for an author?
Lizzie: Writing books has never been an issue, my head is teeming with ideas for future novels. The hard bit is getting my books to the notice of a wider public and finding new readers. I would love to get my books in supermarkets etc. but I know that won’t happen without my being a contracted author. If I was contracted to one of the ‘Big Five’ publishers I’d probably have to write books in genres I wouldn’t enjoy. So, its Catch-22 for me. I would like more time to write and spend less time on social media, but without social media I wouldn’t have achieved the sales I have.
Jessie: What is the best advice that you have received as a writer?
Lizzie: Stop endlessly polishing the first three chapters and a synopsis to send to agents and publishers. You might find that once the novel is completed you jettison the first few chapters in any case. Finish the whole novel, edit it and then polish it to send out to agents/publishers (if that’s the route you want to take). Failing that, publish it yourself – but remember, time, tide and the whims of publishers/agents wait for no man. By the time you write that great novel of yours, trends will have changed and your novel won’t be what agents/publishers are looking for.
Jessie: This interview has inspired me to plan a trip to Scotland, but my Scottish neighbour is always warning me about the midges.
We discussed Girl in the Castle, drank tea and ate Scottish shortbread.
Lizzie: The received wisdom is that you are ‘pretty safe’ in late May/ early June but the wee beasties are bad in July and August. Having said that, if May is very warm, the eggs hatch and they come early. We’ve never been bothered by them and I’ve received worse bites in our garden in the summer.
Jessie: That’s reassuring. Where’s the best place to begin a tour?
Lizzie: Edinburgh or Inverness make great centres to tour from if you’ve never been to Scotland before. Fewer midges on that coast, too. We love the west coast but it is much wetter (and more midges). Stirling is also a good centre as you can have some fantastic days out exploring the Trossachs. When you get a feel for those parts of Scotland you can head for the ‘wilder parts’ on another visit.
Lizzie showed me collection of photos. Ardvreck Castle, Assynt Geo Park Nth West Scotland, Achnasheen nr Kinlochewe, island in middle of Lake Maree, Argyll and Bute
Jessie: Thanks for the advice. I am going to stock up on your novels then plan another trip to Scotland.
About Lizzie
Lizzie: If you have a dream – go for it. Life is not a rehearsal After teaching my 1000th pupil and working as a deputy head teacher in a large primary school, I decided it was time to leave the chalk face and pursue my first love: writing. In 2006 I joined the Romantic Novelists? Association’s New Writers? Scheme, honed my craft and wrote Tall, Dark and Kilted (2012), quickly followed a year later by Boot Camp Bride (2013) and Scotch on the Rocks (2015) – finalist, The Exeter Novel Prize.
Lizzie is hardworking, creative and focused on writing the best book she can. She loves sharing her stories and ideas with readers, new and old. She gets a real buzz when readers tell her that when they turned the last page of her novel they feel bereft and she should hurry up and write another.
I first stumbled on Lizzie’s books when searching for another great reading escape. Thrilled at Lizzie’s ability to inspire comedy, I downloaded all of her novels. Her Scottish books motivated me to plan a holiday in Scotland. Lizzie is great fun and her love of writing shines through her novels.
Lizzie says: “when I’m not writing – I’m dreaming”
At Home in the Pays d’Oc made me giggle, and I was delighted to experience more divine comedy in a bundle of short stories. Do you fancy a tipple of laughter? I can thoroughly recommend ‘Tales from the Pays d’Oc’ – what a treat!
Patricia’s Tales from the Pays d’Oc are tasty morsels of France spiced with other cultures. I peeped into the worlds of Morbignan and St Remy les Cevennes via Patricia’s giggling goggles and it appealed to my nosy nature. How I enjoyed the ‘babble of accents’ from: French, Dutch, German, Swedish and English inhabitants. The ‘gossip fest’ tempted me throughout the stories. Amusing and poignant observations are thrown in for good measure. For instance, I learned that ‘serious drinking won’t begin for an hour’ at ten o’clock.
Story: The Poet, the Thief and the Indian Prawn. Snatched the prawn from his plate almost in mid-air and hit the ground running
Oh, how I waited impatiently, in the café, for the news. Who was dead? What happened? I even found myself adding details and was taught a naughty lesson. Gossip was the only temptation to move me away from the market. I drooled as ‘the fruit stalls spilled a cornucopia of cherries and strawberries and peaches, their scents voluptuous and enticing in the heat.’
I may have also been tempted by the character of Karl who is personified by the ‘big, butch vehicle’. Hilarious! Alas, we owned one of those ‘high – falutin’ ‘Bland Rovers’, so he may not have approved. The ending of the story made me laugh and laugh. Patricia blends the humour so skilfully that I am in awe – again!
Story: Oops! The nearside front wheel slithered into thin air and they lurched to a stop.
Armageddon Falls carried me along the flow of the narrative. The author is skilled at building simple details of the characters, hinting at conflict and absorbing the reader in the dialogue. She manages to demonstrate how people would bemuse the French inhabitants. I felt certain the author would teach the Americans a lesson. How can an artist declare, ‘when you’ve seen one vine, you’ve seen them all’?
All the characters are vibrant, and I love the way the style of each story reflects the personalities. Sheer genius in every single morsel of these bite size temptations. The enigma of the ‘boy in the pool’ is beautifully conveyed. Who is he? The mystery of the summer visitor combined with the mystery of the boy in the pool is brilliant.
Story: A-sitting on a Bench Sitting on the bench they have their measure of the place, but don’t expect to gossip with this crowd if you are ‘anglais’
The dog named ‘Useless’ who becomes a Greek goddess is great. I loved this dog! Moreover, I wanted to eat the truffle omelette on my snow-covered patio. Indeed, animals are also wonderful, intelligent characters in the collection of stories.
Let’s not forget the eccentric French characters who throw themselves into: truffle hunting, boar hunting, village fetes, food, parties’ wine and, of course, amorous liaisons. French culture is explored, dissected and presented on a plate. The villagers are stubborn and reluctant to change but sometimes surprise you. There are amusing, everyday incidents, but as you weave in and out of the characters’ lives, you get to meet them several times. The ‘good ol’ boys’ are a constant presence throughout the stories. Sitting on the bench they have their measure of the place, but don’t expect to gossip with this crowd if you are ‘anglais’ like Henry or even a Parisienne. You could listen to Josephine, the town crier, and find out how she is taught a lesson. Perhaps you’d like to join the Saturday Club to discover why the ‘swing doors flung open, and on a roar of “Ou est -il donc?”’ Has Kiki been up to his ‘old tricks’ or are you in the middle of a western? Beware of the raging woodman! Admire, the author’s wonderful turn of phrase and stand back when Paulette grabs ‘a fistful of blonde hair with a struggling, protesting eighteen-year-old attached.’ Discover how Patricia manages to rub a little salt into the wounded pride of the various characters. No one escapes her witty observation.
Story: Cheeky ‘… and don’t come back!’
Morsels of Morbignan are ‘tres amusant’. Each story made me declare: ‘Ah, or ‘Je vois’ or ‘oh la la’. The author transported me over the English Channel and made me think in schoolgirl French (minus the accents). Desperate for the denouement of each tale, I burnt a stew, but it was an excuse to open a bottle of French wine. These stories would make a perfect Sunday evening TV series.
Cheers, Patricia! I can’t wait for more tempting morsels.
About Patricia
Patricia Feinberg Stoner began her career as a graduate trainee with the Liverpool Daily Post.
Quickly discovering she was a terrible reporter, she switched to feature writing and since then her career has revolved around the written word, as a journalist, advertising copywriter and publicist. For many years she was international press officer for Granada Television, leaving to set up her own publicity business, The Good Word.
Once a dyed-in-the-wool Londoner, Patricia now lives in West Sussex with her husband Patrick, also a writer. She is a member of CHINDI independent authors.
Her first book, ‘Paw Prints in the Butter’, is a collection of humorous verse about cats, sold in aid of WADARS, a local animal rescue charity. She followed this with ‘At Home in the Pays d’Oc’ which, she says, is the story of two accidental expatriates in the south of France. The book won a Five Star Book Award from One Stop Fiction.
November 2017 saw the publication of Patricia’s third book – ‘The Little Book of Rude Limericks’. Despite the title, she warns that not all of the limericks in the book are rude: in fact, some are perfectly polite. However, there are exceptions.
Her latest book revisits the Languedoc with a collection of short stories: ‘Tales from the Pays d’Oc‘. In its pages you will discover what Matthieu was doing in the olive tree, who stole the Indian prawn and who rescued two hapless Americans at Armageddon Falls.
Do you ever listen to song lyrics and wonder if they make any sense at all? A couple of eccentric blokes are leading ‘bonkers crusade’ to challenge niggles in pop song lyrics. I giggled at the concept for their book entitled Dear Mr. Pop star. ‘Dear Mr. Pop star’ consists of deliberately deranged and funny letters to iconic pop stars. Enough. I’ll let Derek Philpott explain in his own hilarious and unique style. Here’s the letter I received from Mister Postman.
‘Dear Mr Pop star’ consists of deliberately deranged and funny letters to iconic pop stars
Dear All
For nearly 10 ten years, with the increasing help of my lad, David, I have been on what is viewed by many as a quite bonkers crusade – writing good old-fashioned letters to pop and rock stars about their songs and band names. The thing is, and I hate to break this to you – a lot of them don’t make any sense!
For example: ”I was born this way,” declares ‘Lady Gaga’, but I would be very surprised if the young lady had entered the world in a frock made of Kermit The Frogs with a telephone on her head
Similarly, Mr. Jagger states that he sees a red door and wants to paint it black however one would recommend at least two strong undercoats before commencing his D.I.Y. task.
Similarly, Mr. Jagger states that he sees a red door and wants to paint it black however one would recommend at least two strong undercoats before commencing his D.I.Y. task. Failure to do so may lead to the intended black door actually turning out purple, owing to the strong primary colour that he is looking to supersede.
David noticed a long time ago that I had an uncanny knack of interpreting The Hit Parade and popular ‘tunes’ in quite a left-field fashion, either pointing out blatant lyrical ambiguities or, very often, completely getting the wrong end of the stick. He’d say things like:
“…but dad, it’s AC/DC, you can’t say that a Highway to Hell is a near impossible to construct thoroughfare towards an ethereal epicentre for dead bad people! They’re legends!” To which I would retort “Listen son, I don’t know who it is and I don’t care who it is. It doesn’t make sense.”
Did I manage to find the Highway to Hell?
We did try and get replies to these missives by sending them to the pop star’s record companies and managers and ‘official channels’, but we didn’t hear anything back. So we built a little website, put the letters up for all to see, and joined Facebook and continued our epistles there.
Then, as the popularity of the letters grew, the artists quite unexpectedly started to reply, pointing out exactly where the original communications went wrong … or right. So we published a book of the funniest letters and replies. That went swimmingly, so now we’re doing another called ”Dear Mr. Pop Star”, out later this year via Unbound with a Trade Edition through Penguin
Of course, it is not always possible to reach certain targets, hence many observations remain unanswered …
We hope you like our bizarre and silly world
Yours,
Derek Philpott
‘Dear Mr. Pop Star’ is out on 20th September. Let us know if you have any queries about lyrics and I will pass this on to the crusaders.
For more than a decade, Derek Philpott and his son, Dave, have been writing to pop stars from the 1960s to the 90s to take issue with the lyrics of some of their best-known songs.
But then, to their great surprise, the pop stars started writing back…
Dear Mr Pop Star contains 100 of Derek and Dave’s greatest hits, including correspondence with Katrina and the Waves, Tears for Fears, Squeeze, The Housemartins, Suzi Quatro, Devo, Deep Purple, Nik Kershaw, T Pau, Human League, Eurythmics, Wang Chung, EMF, Mott the Hoople, Heaven 17, Jesus Jones, Johnny Hates Jazz, Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine, Chesney Hawkes and many, many more.
About the Derek and Dave Philpott
Derek and Dave Philpott are the nom de plumes of two ordinary members of the public, working with help from a small family and, crucially, a worldwide social networking community. Neither they, or anybody assisting with the creative aspects of this project had any connections with the music, entertainment, media or publishing industries whatsoever at the time of its commencement. Despite these humble origins, however, they now find themselves in the bizarre but enviable position whereby many pop stars and people within these circles are their friends “in real life” (whatever that means!). Many artists consider “getting a Dereking” as a badge of honour, and, as one has participant succinctly put it-
“This is an ingenious and extremely inventive concept. You have given us a platform to answer questions that have been asked of us for years by our fans and respond on a public platform of immense fun. You’ve created a weird and wonderful world loved and admired by 1,000s of people worldwide, and you have your own army of loyal fans. That pretty much makes you part of ‘us lot’ now!”
Rhoda Baxter – author of romantic comedies about smart women
Rhoda Baxter
Beverley, East Yorkshire
The beautiful cobbled streets of Beverley, East Yorkshire, proved a little difficult on the icy winter’s day. It was such a nostalgic trip for me as we had visited some dear friends there over a decade ago. Amazingly, Cut-Price Bookshop was still there, and I hope Rhoda would direct me there later, as I had a great big pink bag ready. Although bracing, the cool air had brought a beautiful covering of snow to the ancient town. It was very tempting to stop and browse in the independent shops, but I was meeting Rhoda Baxter, romantic novelist, in ten minutes.
Rhoda’s latest novel in her favourite bag
Wrapped in a long, dark coat, large colourful scarf and wearing my Ugg boots, I quickened my pace the tiny Bistro. Rhoda smiled, greeted me and organised a lovely array of tea and cakes. My favourite sweet treats were the double chocolate brownies. I removed my coat and sat on one of the bistro chairs. Rhoda was bundled up against the cold and had to remove several layers before she got down to hear practical jeans and sweater. She retrieved her book entitled Girl in Trouble from her multicoloured handbag. It was such a delight for me to be back in Yorkshire speaking with a fellow Yorkshire lass.
Jessie: It is wonderful to be back in Yorkshire. What do you like most about Yorkshire?
Rhoda: The people! Everyone is so friendly here and there so much less tension in the day to day interactions. I lived down south for a while and whenever we go back to visit friends, we feel the difference immediately. My youngest, who can’t remember living anywhere but here, is always surprised at how when she says hello to people in London, they ignore her!
Also, I’m a big fan of cake. Beverley and York have some amazing cake shops.
I retrieved a copy of Rhoda’s book, ‘Girl in Trouble’, from my handbag. It was easy to spot the familiar bright cover of a glamorous character on the jacket. As we waited for more tea to arrive we settled to discuss Rhoda’s work.
Jessie:Your romantic novels look great. Your characters look feisty and fun and Sue Moorcroft described them as ‘the real deal’. Tell me about your characters. Can you capture the essence of ‘Girl in Trouble’ in a few sentences?
Rhoda’s latest book – The Girl in Trouble
Rhoda: My characters often just turn up in my head and start talking. I don’t know their stories, but I know their voices. I’ve had several readers say that my characters feel real to them. That’s the highest praise, as far as I’m concerned. My characters are real to me. They live in my head for the duration while I’m writing their book and I miss them when I finish the story.
One of the reasons I started writing was because in the early 2000s, I got into reading romances and I felt that only a certain type of person was represented in popular romance. All the women were likable and unobjectionable, and all the men were super confident, well-muscled and over bearing. Where were the nice guys? Or the women who were smart and career minded? Or even ones who were slightly hard edged?
Girl in Trouble is about two people who are a little different to what society expects. Olivia is a ladette and there isn’t much that will faze her. Walter is a nice guy and is scared of spiders. One of their first interactions is when Olivia has to rescue him from a spider. Olivia is adamant she doesn’t need a man in her life, even when things go horribly wrong. How can Walter persuade the most independent woman he’s ever met to accept his help, let alone his heart?
Jessie: I know you have been nominated for writing awards. What have the reviewers said about ‘Girl in Trouble’?
Rhoda gave a wry smile then scrolled through the reviews of her novel on Amazon.
Rhoda:
Most people said it made them laugh and cry in equal measure. I love that!
” there was a real punch of emotional depth – one minute I’d be grinning at what the characters were saying or doing and the next I was fighting tears.” (Amazon review)
“This book with make you laugh out loud at times but will also frustrate you and make you cry. Everything you need for a great romance. ” (Amazon review)
“Baxter’s narrative sets up the sentimental situation only to send it spinning in entirely unexpected directions.” (Romance Novels for Feminists)
Jessie: ‘Girl in Trouble’ sounds like a romance with a strong character – perfect! Can you read a brief extract to tempt the reader?
Rhoda: He leaned back, flustered. Much as he found her attractive, the idea of being pounced on by her was a tiny bit scary. But, only a tiny bit. Which wasn’t all that scary, come to think of it.
Jessie:Wow! Your book sounds like fun! I can sense you enjoyed interacting with your characters. How did you feel when you had finished writing your book, and did you miss any of the characters?
Rhoda: I missed the characters so much that I wrote a follow up novella! Olivia first appeared as a minor character in ‘Girl Having A Ball’ (which was nominated for a RoNA Romantic Novel of the Year award). She’s confident and independent and doesn’t take crap from anyone. I loved her so much that I had to write this book to see what happened to her. I wish I was more like Olivia really. Walter, the hero, is a nice guy. I like beta heroes because they usually have wit and charm (as well being attractive) and I know I’d like to spend time with a man like that!
Jessie:I love the way you present the characters you want to spend time with. It must be great to create the characters you are fond of. Who would you like to read your book and why? This could be another author, someone famous, a friend or a member of your family.
Rhoda: I’ve love for Emma Watson to read my book. ‘Girl In Trouble’ has a major theme of fathers and daughters, but underneath there’s quite a lot about gender stereotyping and the double standards that we apply to men and women. Boys don’t cry. Girls don’t climb trees (or whatever). I think it would chime with a lot of things Emma Watson raised in her He For She speech.
Jessie: Why should I keep your book in my handbag?
Because it will make you laugh and cry and, by the end, you’ll have met some people who feel like they are real friends.
Jessie: Tell me about your favourite handbag.
Rhoda’s latest novel in her favourite bag
Rhoda:The bag is from a shop in Sri Lanka called Barefoot. They make wonderful things out of handloom fabrics. This bag has loads of little pockets inside, so that I can find what I’m looking for (I have two youngish kids – being able to find the packet of tissues at just the right moment is very important!). It’s a colourful, but sensible bag because I can fill it with useful things, sling it across me and run.
Jessie:What is the last sentence written in your writer’s notebook?
Rhoda: ‘beachwear and cocktail umbrellas?’ It’s a note to myself to figure out some details about my characters who are stranded on a tropical island with only a few bags they took on holiday. I liked the idea of them having a box of something that is completely useless – like cocktail umbrellas. They’re red, these cocktail umbrellas. They must be useful for something, right?
Jessie:What is the biggest challenge for an author?
Rhoda: Keeping going. I write because I love it and I don’t know what else I’d do with these people who keep popping up in my head. Writing books is hard, but marketing is harder. Nowadays, authors are expected to do a lot of marketing themselves and really, most of us are very shy. I can’t think of anything worse that going up to a stranger and saying ‘hey, I’ve written a book, wanna buy a copy’… but that is exactly what I need to learn to do.
Jessie: Where is your favourite writing place?
Rhoda’s writing shed
Rhoda: My favourite writing place is really my bed – but you don’t want a picture of me in my scratty pyjamas. So here’s a picture of my shed instead. I often sit in there at the weekend and do my editing work. There’s a battered old sofa and a collection of blankets in there, so it’s lovely and cosy even when it’s not the sunniest of days.
Jessie:What is the best advice that you have received as a writer?
Rhoda: Write. Edit. Submit. Repeat. Improve each time you go round the cycle.
About Rhoda
She is fond of cake, British comedy and Lego Stormtroopers.
Rhoda is very serious about girls being allowed to do whatever they feel a passion for. Rhoda is also serious about cake. she’d choose tea and cake over alcohol any day.
Rhoda likes to see the humour in a situation, she says it’s her way of dealing with the dark side of life.
It was wonderful to meet a fun, Yorkshire lass in Beverley. Rhoda adds feisty, independent women in her books and that is appealing. Rhoda’s lively, positive nature suggests her books will be a joy to read. Best of luck to Rhoda with ‘Girl in Trouble’.
You can contact her via Twitter (@rhodabaxter), Facebook or just drop her an email at rhodabaxter@gmail.com, or visit her website at rhodabaxter.com.
Her book, ‘Girl Having a Ball’ was shortlisted for RoNA award (Best Romantic Comedy) 2017.
The train moved through the ancient, rugged North York Moors. A whistle nudged me from the stories in my imagination, and I noticed the sign for Goathland Station. Sharon waited on the platform, wearing jeans and a sunshine yellow top. Initially, she failed to notice me as she wrote furiously in her notebook. A Mediterranean sky greeted us both as we headed towards the village. Immersed in the pages of a picture of book as we walked to the village, I reflected that Sharon had chosen an ideal inspiration for the setting of her fictional village, Bramblewick, as it was like being immersed in the pages of a picture book. As we sauntered, we chatted about every detail of the charming setting – Sharon is fantastic company. We laughed at the sheep wandering through the village as if they were going out shopping for the day.
We laughed at the sheep wandering through the village
As a fan of ‘Heartbeat’, also set in Goathland, I wanted to visit the ‘Aidensfield Arms’, which Sharon told me was also the place she had in mind when she created Bramblewick’s pub, The Bay Horse. As I recounted my favourite character of Greengrass in Heartbeat, we reached The Goathland Hotel, the Heartbeat pub itself. Without speaking we both walked towards the inviting old inn. We bought soft drinks and settled at a table in the beer garden.
Jessie: Sharon, this is the perfect setting to inspire your romance novels. Who wouldn’t want to escape to Goathland to make a fresh start? What is Fresh Starts at Folly Farm about?
Sharon: Goathland first came to my attention when I was holidaying nearby, in the very week that Heartbeat started on television. Of course, we had to visit the place, and I loved it immediately. We’ve been back on many occasions since then. I love the surrounding moorland, the beautiful stone buildings, and all these gorgeous sheep wandering the roads! It’s about an hour and a half drive from my home but so worth it. Bramblewick was first mentioned in one of my Kearton Bay novels, A Kiss from a Rose, and I had Goathland in mind even then. (I’ve created a whole fictional network of villages and towns which are cross referenced throughout my books, with Whitby as the place which anchors them in a real location.) When it came to writing a series about a North York Moors village, where else was I going to look? As you saw when you arrived by train, there is a beck and a stone bridge that leads to the village. I simply moved them so that the main street is at the side of the water. Now that I’m up to the third book in the series, this place feels so comfortable and familiar to me. Fresh Starts at Folly Farm is a story of new beginnings, home and family. Even when life has let you down, love can heal the deepest wounds. In a run-down farm on the North York Moors, both animals and humans discover it’s never too late to start again.
Jessie: Please can you read a tempting extract from your novel?
Their animals have such a glorious life and are given so much care and attention and oodles of love.
Sharon: “What is it?” Sam peered into the box and let out a cry of wonder at the sight of a tiny ginger kitten, fast asleep on his blanket.
“Another rescue case?”
Xander gave Rachel a sheepish smile. “‘Fraid so.”
Jessie: I love it! I can already feel the warmth of the characters – it sounds like the perfect escapist novel. What do the reviewers say about your Fresh Starts at Folly Farm?
Sharon: I’ve been lucky to have excellent reviews for my Bramblewick books. They’re quite gentle stories and seem to be very popular. I was aiming for a “Sunday night television series” sort of feel, and I hope I’ve succeeded. Readers certainly seem to be enjoying Fresh Starts at Folly Farm.
Sharon retrieved her phone from her Harry Potter satchel – which she was carrying in honour of the fact that Goathland train station featured as the Hogwarts Express stop at Hogsmeade in the Harry Potter films – then searched for the reviews.
“It takes much awareness and a great sense of balance to treat certain topics without sounding trivial or superficial, nor tragic. This story is pure emotion. Sharon Booth never ceases to amaze me.” ~ Isabella, Amazon reviewer
“This book had me hooked from the start. I have read all of Sharon’s previous stories and this ranks as one of my favourites.” ~ DJW, Amazon reviewer.
“I just love Bramblewick books and can’t wait for the next one!” ~ Writer up the Hill.
Jessie: It must be a joy to escape to Bramblewick to follow the lives of your characters. How did you feel when you had finished writing your book, and did you miss any of the characters?
Sharon: It’s always mixed feelings when I finish writing a book. I feel quite sad to say goodbye to the characters, but I’m also highly relieved that the job’s done, because I’m never convinced I’ll be able to write another novel, so it’s always great when I prove myself wrong! I haven’t really had time to miss the characters at Folly Farm yet, as I’ve been busy working on my next book, but I know I’ll be going back to Bramblewick again soon, so I can catch up with my fictional friends before too long.
Jessie: Who would you like to read your book and why? This could be another author, someone famous, a friend or a member of your family.
Guaranteed to put a smile on your face and a warm feeling in your heart.
Sharon: I’d like as many people as possible to visit Folly Farm! Specifically, I’d love my daughter and daughter-in-law to read it, as they inspired me so much with this story. Two of the animals in the book are based on two of their own animals, and they’ve got so many pets, including a couple of rescue cases. Their animals have such a glorious life and are given so much care and attention and oodles of love. I’m very proud of them and the way they have given second chances to two very special creatures. I could write a whole series just about them!
Jessie: The books are a wonderful tribute to your family – how wonderful! I must admit Fresh Start at Folly Farm sound delicious but why should I keep your book in my handbag?
Sharon: Because it’s a real feel-good story, guaranteed to put a smile on your face and a warm feeling in your heart. If you watch or read the news, it’s easy to believe that this is a cruel, heartless world. Fresh Starts at Folly Farm will remind you that there are good, kind people, and there’s always a chance for love and a new beginning – whether you’re an animal or a human.
Jessie: Your stories sound like a great joy for your readers and they eagerly await the next book. I am delighted to hear you are writing another novel. What is the last sentence written in your writer’s notebook?
Sharon: “What will be the outcome of that?” That’s a bit cryptic, isn’t it? It’s a jotting for my next book, which is the second in my Yorkshire Dales Skimmerdale series, a sequel to This Other Eden. I’ve been playing around with plot points and trying to work out the what ifs. Writing a first draft is such hard work!
Jessie: What is the biggest challenge for an author?
Sharon: Getting noticed when there are thousands of new books released every week. Visibility is a huge challenge, and there are massive demands on writers to get their name and work “out there”, which means more time marketing and networking and less time writing, unfortunately.
Jessie: What is the best advice that you have received as a writer?
Sharon: Just keep writing and getting more books out there.
Jessie: Sharon, it is always such a pleasure to communicate with you. You are so helpful and kind to others. Tell me a little more about yourself.
Sharon: I’m a member of the Romantic Novelists’ Association and blogging group The Write Romantics. I’ve published ten novels and written two pocket novels and a short story for The People’s Friend. I’m a huge fan of Yorkshire, Doctor Who and horses, and am shamefully prone to all-consuming crushes on fictional heroes.
Jessie: It’s confession time. Is there one fictional hero that stands out for you?
Sharon: Oh gosh! I have to name just one? Really? I could name dozens of other writers’ creations as well as plenty of my own. To be fair to all my gorgeous heroes, I’ll simply say Xander, as he’s my latest hero from Fresh Starts at Folly Farm and, of course, he lives around here somewhere! He’s got a heart of gold. Any man who cares passionately about the welfare of helpless animals has got to be a keeper, right? And, of course, he’s a very handsome actor, with a humble nature and a great sense of humour. Most importantly of all, he’s exceptionally kind. Yes, I think it’s Xander’s turn to shine right now, and – oh my word, there he is! Look, he’s waving at me. Er, you don’t mind if I end this talk now, do you, Jessie? Only, I haven’t seen Xander for a while and, well, you know how it is. Thanks so much for our little chat. It’s been fun! Okay, Xander, wait for me! Oh wow, look at that smile. He really is exceptionally lovely, isn’t he? Bye, Jessie!
Sharon vanished without finishing her drink. Later, she sent me a text message to say all would be revealed in another book.
Sharon Booth
More about Sharon
Sharon is a persistent daydreamer; happy in her own company, she lives inside her own head most of the time, much to the confusion and irritation of those around her. In her imagination, she’s the storybook mum and grandma, who greets her visiting family with tea in pretty china cups, homemade cakes, and effusive kisses. In reality, she tends to groan that they’ve interrupted her writing, while rummaging through the cupboards in the hope of finding leftover biscuits to offer them, and completely forgetting to put the kettle on until she’s been reminded – several times.
I reviewed a novel set in Britain and written by an American Anglophile. Think Downton Abbey, crowns, manors, glamour and Midsomer Murders.
Crack open a bottle of the very best bubbly and slip inside the pages of The Crown for Castlewood Manor. Let’s raise our glasses ‘to love and lust, past, present and future.’
Veronica is an Agatha Christie adoring fan (Miss Jane Marple is my heroine); lover of all things royal (especially those crowns!)
Do you fancy being a VIP at some glamorous parties attended by royalty? Dust off your best bib and tucker and prepare yourself for glamour, opulence and a right royal story. However, this invitation comes with a health warning. Please take care and beware of the murderer! There are shadows hiding beneath the glitz and sparkle. Don’t be tempted to go into the woods or too near the edge of the cliff. I did warn you!
This is the book I placed in my handbag
Follow Dr Gemma Phillips, with her brains and beauty, on her journey of discovery into the ancestry of Cherrywood Hall. Can she help her cousin to secure a deal to use the manor as a filming location for the latest period drama- Castlewood Manor? As other lords and ladies compete for the coveted title mysterious evens begin to occur, and the murder mystery element had me completely hooked. This was unadulterated escapism into another world. It was fun to recognise: the influence of British murder mystery conventions, celebrity rom coms and Downton Abbey. I also played Guess Who? with the cast of royal characters. Visiting eccentric British aristocratic world from an American perspective is a joy to behold.
I kept thinking about the Earl and Countess of Carnarvon’s decision to allow a period drama series to be filmed at their estate—would you allow cameras and production settings at your home?
Veronica Cline Barton has a bright and breezy style of writing with description of photographic quality. I was lost in vivid descriptions of houses that resonated with my visit to various National Trust stately homes and palaces. I meandered down the secret corridors, peered into the hidden rooms and learnt about some past scandals haunting these families. Wow! The author has woven a tangle web, and I was ensnared in this narrative trap until I uncovered the resolution. And, of course, there is a smoldering romance to add flames to the fire, and a friendly ghost to send a shiver down your spine
This novel has it all and is a fun reading retreat. A light-hearted, entertaining and fun read – a darn good yarn, darlings!
Having read the book, I asked Veronica Cline Barton to send me a guest post from California. I wanted to know more about the inspiration behind the fun.
Tell us about Veronica…
Meet the fabulous Veronica Cline Barton
Agatha Christie adoring fan (Miss Jane Marple is my heroine); lover of all things royal (especially those crowns!); Anglophile (according to ‘23andMe’ I’m 60% English/Irish from the DNA profile); Downton Abbey devotee; reader (love the Indie writers on Twitter); cozy mystery writer (began in 2016); blogger (myamericanalmostroyalcousinseries.com); traveler (especially to the UK—love those castles and palaces); wife; mother; grannie; owned by two cats—Daisy and Ebbie. Whew!
To me, there’s nothing better than a British cozy mystery series. In my cozy reader’s mind, I enjoy traveling to a great manor house, tending a lovely garden, walking the grounds in my wellies in the rain, and sipping tea and sherry by a roaring fire to ponder the day’s events and ‘mur-dahs’ (things I don’t get to do very often in hot, dry, congested southern California). I love getting to know the fictional characters (at least the surviving ones—perils of being a cozy mystery character, LOL) and watch them develop and grow over the years.
Tell us about your My American Almost Royal Cousin series
This is the latest book.
When season six of Downton Abbey ended, my life changed. I couldn’t wait for the opening scenes highlighting the beautiful Highclere Castle. I kept thinking about the Earl and Countess of Carnarvon’s decision to allow a period drama series to be filmed at their estate—would you allow cameras and production settings at your home? This question went through my mind, over and over again, and so…
My series starts when American heiress Gemma Lancaster Philips, PhD, travels to the UK to assist her cousin, Evan Lancaster, 8th Marquess of Kentshire and his estate, Cherrywood Hall, compete in a contest for the set location of the highly anticipated period drama series, Castlewood Manor (my fictional version of Downton Abbey).
The stakes are high, and the competition deadly. Throw in ambitious actors, jealous ex’s, a little romance (Kyle Williams, the Cherrywood Hall estate manager catches Gemma’s eye), royals (my royals are fictionalized out of respect to the British royal family), a beloved ancestral ghost, and more than a few ne’er do wells who attend the glamorous red-carpet events and voila! Cozy British mystery with some very unexpected twists. What could possibly go wrong?
The Crown for Castlewood Manor: American heiress Gemma Lancaster Philips helps her British cousin’s ancestral estate win selection for an English TV series, only to discover that the other contenders are killing off the competition.
Cast, Crew, & Carnage; the Filming of Castlewood Manor: The lines between fiction and fact become blurred when a television production comes to Cherrywood Hall. Can Gemma stop a killer before the show and countless lives are ruined?
Deadly Receptions; the Debut of Castlewood Manor: The global premiere of the highly anticipated period drama series Castlewood Manor, the Telly Tiara awards show, and hosting the royal wedding of the season at the newly opened wedding pavilion at Cherrywood Hall is keeping Gemma busy to say the least.
A rather curious cat, called Land’s End, disturbed my catnap. I followed the feline to the ends of the earth. The proud pussycat meowed about Patricia Feinberg Stoner’s book of purr-fect poems. Land’s End stared at me until I found a letter, from Patricia.
Greetings, dear reader, and welcome to my world of wacky felines. I have been intrigued by cats all my life. I love their dignity, their independence and the way they please themselves above all. ‘Paw Prints in the Butter’ is the result of many years’ study, and all the cats in these verses are real. Some I have known personally, some I have been told about by proud or amused or exasperated owners. ‘A Puss in Boots’ is possibly my favourite poem, because it’s true: and what a gift for an inveterate punster, to find a cat in Boots the Chemist!
Whether you love cats or hate them, I hope you’ll find something in these pages to inspire and amuse you.
Patricia Feinberg Stoner
No Puss in Boots, here! Try Boots the Chemist.
Presenting the Real Puss in Boots!
A PUSS IN BOOTS
In the high street chemist yesterday,
Upon a thoughtfully-provided chair
Beside a radiator, sat
A large and well-contented cat.
The chance was far too good to miss
For one who loves a play on words
So: ‘Look! A Puss in Boots!’ I cried.
I dare you not to giggle about my pals. Photo by Alon Bennet
The shopping zombies clearly thought me mad.
They turned, as only English people turn,
A blank and even hostile stare
Upon me, standing foolish there
As ‘Look! A Puss in Boots!’ I cried.
But then the creature stretched and purred
And opened amber eyes (that matched its fur).
And then it turned and winked at me.
I’ll swear I saw it wink at me.
As ‘Look! A Puss in Boots!’ I cried.
‘Paw Prints in the Butter’ is a humorous exploration of our feline friends. According to ‘Your Cat Magazine’, the poems ‘delve into the inner psyche of our much loved feline friends’. I asked Patricia to introduce us to more of the characters:
SHUDDER at the menace of The Cat Who Howls in the Night
MEET Lulu the Terrible and find out how she fell from grace…
SHUDDER at the menace of The Cat Who Howls in the Night and LAUGH with the irrepressible Stationery Cat…
LEARN how the ancient Cabriole won his lady love, and how she rewarded him…
and LISTEN, with the wide-eyed kitten, to the mew-moirs of The Cat Who Has Been Here Before. Purr-fect Reviews
‘If you have a cat, know a cat, or have ever interacted with a cat, this collection of poems will have you chuckling… It has certainly earned its place on my bookshelf.’ Ingenue Magazine
‘This very funny collection of poems probably explains why – like Marmite – some of us love cats and some of us don’t.’ Jack le Bois
I bought my edition on Kindle but I shall have to have a paper copy to place on my bookshelf, for this is a ‘cut-and-come-again’ kind of work – to dip into at whim. Purr-fect!’ Angela Petch
Patricia present the cunning and clever personalities of our much loved pets, in this collection of poems. She will even charm dog champions with this comic collection of ‘mew-moirs’. Take a ‘paws’ and find out more about ‘Paw Prints in the Butter’.
Patricia is passionate about humour, food and writing
Patricia is passionate about humour, food and writing; she loves all dogs and some people (you know who you are) and has a healthy respect for cat kind. She is great fun and her writing is guaranteed to make you giggle. Read ‘Paw Prints in the Butter’ and search for your purr-fect pet.
Patricia has a unique flair for comedy, and I can recommend her other books.
Lights, Camera, Action: ‘Addicted to theatre and film’
Open Adrienne Vaughan’s That Summer at the Seahorse Hotel to enter the world of Hollywood glamour. Allow the camera to reveal a bird’s eye view of the enchanting Irish coast. Observe the long shot of the ‘regal and resplendent’ Georgian mansion. Pan across to the sea lapping, like a temptress, on the shore. Dissolve to the medium closeup of a red-haired beauty sitting at the water’s edge like a mermaid. Cut to the hero and fade… Don’t worry if you can’t imagine these scenes, just let Adrienne Vaughan’s words roll into your imagination and paint the picture for you. Let this author enchant you with the setting and enigmatic characters as she adds colour.
‘ “Is it a mermaid?” the little girl whispered.”’
Enjoy the sight of ‘the sun dripping over the horizon as the night’s velvet promise smeared the purple sky.’ As you visualise the scene, you will be intrigued by the hidden secrets. For instance, who is Mia’s father, and how does this relate to the lyrical prologue at the beginning of the narrative? Mysteries linked to the characters’ lives and the history of the place are cleverly interwoven into the fabric of the narrative.
Fairy godfather ‘resplendent in vintage smoking jacket and silk cravat’
Like a skilled seamstress, Adrienne Vaughan has sewn the narrative together. But, everything is held together by the wonderfully flamboyant Archie, a Hollywood screen legend. Before dying, Archie, the fairy godfather, weaves his magic and leaves threads of happiness for the characters in the story. Oh, how I adore Archie’s philosophy of life! He is ‘teasingly playful and lethal at the same time’ – he even knows how manipulate destiny. He has enjoyed a decadent lifestyle at Galty Manor, but he has shared it with the people he loves – and made them all his forever family. And his home is a haven for lost souls. He knows how to make everyone feel better, including the actress, Fenella, who has ‘beauty and brains’. For Archie, ‘Champagne makes everything better.’ Fenella and Trixie concur that ‘a girl needs champagne, vitamin C and good mates’ when Mia is heartbroken.
Is Archie Mia’s father? This question bubbles throughout the novel. Such is the charm of Archie that one wills him to be the father. Mia is tormented by the same question. Archie sets up meetings designed to make Mia evaluate on her own life. Archie compares ten year old Pearl to the younger Mia and says the child is ‘amazing’. Mia reflects ‘when do you grow out of being amazing’. It would seem Archie orchestrates encounters and experiences to help his precious loved ones to remember who they are. Indeed, he writes his own plays and seems to be determined to influence the events in his loved one’s lives. I loved this hint of magic and the essence of fairy-tale running cleverly through the novel. The novel examines the concept of family and the way others can play a significant role in a person’s life. There is a heart-warming message threaded throughout the characters’ turmoil.
Just like on the silver screen, this novel celebrates the ‘power of dreams’. Take several leading ladies, a mermaid Cinderella and a fairy godfather. Let the dreams take you to the magical coast of Ireland where the ocean displays ‘a myriad of colours sparkling and inviting’. But, be prepared for tales of ‘a dark stormy night’ and some dark events. This story will beguile you, as it pulls you into the drama and mystery where ‘black clouds of angry clouds split across the orange sky’. You may not want to leave ‘the busy, happy house’ unless you wander down to the summerhouse or take a trip on Archie’s yacht. You are sure to find ‘a perfect day for memory making’ when you visit the glorious house and setting. Sadly, Archie will exit centre stage, at some stage; happily, he will have a plan for the loved ones waiting in the wings. But who will inherit his fortune and will his sister live happily ever after? What does Sister Agnes know about the past? Long after you have finished this novel, and the credits roll, you will be thinking about the magic of this story and its layers of meaning, behind the scenes.
Adrienne Vaughan
More about Adrienne Vaughan
Adrienne Vaughan has been making up stories since she could speak; primarily to entertain her sister Reta, who from a very early age never allowed a plot or character to be repeated – tough gig!
As soon as she could pick up a pen, she started writing them down. No surprise she wanted to be a journalist; ideally the editor of a glossy music and fashion magazine, so she could meet and marry a rock star – some of that came true! And in common with so many, she still holds the burning ambition to be a ‘Bond Girl’.
The Little Book of Rude Limericks
Patricia Feinberg Stoner has been writing limericks since she was ten and she has now compiled The Little Book of Rude Limericks. I am incredibly privileged to present an exclusive extract from The Little Book of Rude Limericks, prior to the publication on 15th November. I insisted that the brilliant comedy genius, Patricia Feinberg Stoner, introduce her limericks to the readers.
Dear Readers,
From the north of England…
to the south of France…
