‘I leave you with a sense of humour and memories. Think of me when funny things happen.’ That’s what my late father told us when we discovered he had only got weeks to live. He insisted that we didn’t sit around the hospital bed and weep but laugh at memories. He started a conversation with, ‘Do you remember when…’, and then engaged us in funny stories of past events. Everyone in the ward laughed along at the stories – it was magic. I can still remember my dad holding his belly as he laughed out loud. What a great way to distract us all from the sadness! That was thirteen years ago.
Dad’s philosophy helped us through this year. As we haven’t been able to get together with extended family, we have treasured memories of past events and shared photos of past get togethers. We aimed to find photos that capture laughter!
I found a photo of me when I was about nine years old. I urged Mum to take a photo of Dad reading the newspaper, so we could record the progress of his bald head and present the photo as evidence. He loved this and said, ‘Hair today, gone tomorrow.’
Photos that capture a moment are a gift. For example, in Northumberland, I decided to take a closer look at the sea and when I jumped off the wall, I was rewarded with a splash from a freak wave. I was the only walker who did not escape the water, and my husband was able to snap the moment as he was taking photos of the sea at the time.
‘Please tell me that wasn’t planned,’ said an elderly gentleman, crying with laughter.
‘No, it was especially for you,’ I replied.
He held his stomach as he waited for the laughter to subside. It felt as if Dad was there with us in that moment, instigating his usual mischief.
Of course, sharing stories and old photos is not the same as the face-to-face contact, but it cheered us up. For us, Dad is an absent present in those moments of hilarity and it’s comforting. My heart goes out to those people who have lost their loved ones, and I am thinking of you and wishing you comfort in those memories captured in your heart.
Which photos capture your fondest memories and make you smile?
Out of the blue, Jessie I recently got back in contact with someone I had last seen 30 years ago, so am digging out photos from way back when to share with him, which makes this post particularly poignant. Memories.
I have a feeling your Dad and my Dad will be laughing their heavenly socks off as they seem to share the same sense of humour. 😀
What a lovely comment to wake up to this morning. Digging out photos is so much fun. isn’t it? The image evokes so much! I hope our dads are having lots of laughs up there.
What a lovely post, Jessie. Thank you for sharing such an uplifting post today. About twenty years ago we took some family photos for my husband’s parents’ wedding anniversary. Eventually we found a decent one to give them, but only after taking loads of us with our three sons. I laugh every time I see them because my youngest son is making (different) funny faces in EVERY SINGLE PHOTO!
What a wonderful memory to have captured – you are so lucky. Thanks for sharing and I hope it made you smile today. x
What a wonderful post! Laughter is so important. I have been going through photos since my mom’s death in December and it is such a fun journey through time. So important and part of the grief process for me. Thanks for sharing your sweet photos!
Thanks so much for your kind words. Photos evoke such powerful memories, don’t they? We find such comfort in them, and it is so interesting to listen to how we remember different things.
Beautiful post Jessie! When we were downsizing and preparing to move- sorting through photos was one of the biggest tasks. I ended up keeping most of the boxes of memories.
Thanks, Jean. Hope the sun is shining for you today. Treasure those memories and share them with family. Throw photos on the table and ask everyone to select a photo and see what happens. I have also ensured my laptop screensaver scrolls through photos to remind me of lost images.
A lovely post Jessie. Makes me realise there are gaps in my life where there are no photographic memories. However my sister recently found one of my 16 year old self. Bit of a shock after all these years!
Though you don’t have photographic memories, I am sure you have stored away memories. I dare you to share the photo of you when you were sixteen.
Jessie, sometimes it’s good to ground ourselves and your poignant and hope-filled post has done that today. My dear dad often used to give me a lift to school and he would sometimes sing his own (usually rude) version of a song. I still remember some of these today and smile when I think of him.
Oh, this sounds like fun. Will you be singing to us in the next meeting?
Lovely post, Jessie! One of my fav pictures is one of my son, niece and nephew sitting on Santa’s lap. My niece was howling and not a happy camper. The faces of my son, Santa and nephew were priceless and I can still hear my sister and me laughing in the background… 🙂 ??
Veronica, the memory you shared is so funny and it makes me happy to know it made you giggle this morning. That’s perfect!
What an absolutely beautiful post, Jessie. I had a tear in my eye as I read it. Your father sounded wonderful (sounds wonderful – because he lives on in your family). Thank you so much for sharing.
I have a photo of my father on the noticeboard next to my desk. He is twenty – so of course I didn’t know him then. He is dressed up in a girl’s dressing gown and striking a silly pose and I can just hear the laughter of my young mother and her three sisters when I look at it. I might post it today. You are an inspiration #mondaymotivation.
This is a lovely post, Jessie. Laughter gets us through many difficult times, even when it’s hard to keep a sense of humour. You memories of your dad sound wonderful. x
Judith, many thanks for leaving a comment. I am so pleased you enjoyed the post. It helps to laugh and remember the good times but it can be a challenge at the moment. Thoroughly enjoyed your latest novel. Reading is a great way to escape.