Bridget Jones meets La La Land

Always intrigued by what goes on behind the scenes of the theatre, I asked Jane Lambert to share an extract from her debut novel.

 

 

 

Dear readers,

I’m thrilled to share a slice of The Start of Something Wonderful with you.

The extract I have chosen is when understudy actress Emily arrives at the theatre, all set for yet another quiet night in her dressing room, drinking tea and devouring the latest copy of Hello! But tonight, fate has other plans…

The Start of Something Wonderful will make you laugh, cry and inspire you to step out of your comfort zone – the perfect travelling companion to have in your handbag.

Happy reading, love & laughter,

Jane x

I chose this extract because it typifies the unpredictability of Emily’s new career path and the many unexpected scrapes she finds herself in.

Be careful what you wish for …

I am beginning to worry. There’s a dark side to my character emerging that I didn’t know was there.

Whilst I’m naturally over the moon and grateful for this understudy job, as the weeks go by, I’m becoming a teensy-weensy bit frustrated. I know the part now, and whilst I may not have starred in my own TV series or graced the cover of celebrity mags, dare I say it, I think I could play the role just as well. Does that sound conceited? Day after day, week after week, the waiting, the hoping …

Wishing someone to be struck down with laryngitis or a mild tummy bug is one thing, but willing someone’s foot to get trapped in a revolving set is something else entirely. Evil. I’m horrified that I’m capable of such a thought.

I breeze through the stage door, clutching the latest copy of Hello! and a bag of Jelly Babies.

‘Evening, Arthur. Dressing room ten, please.’

‘Reckon you’ll no’ be havin’ much time for readin’ the night, doll,’ he wheezes, glancing at my magazine as he hands me the key.

‘Mmm?’ I say, signing in, then checking my pigeonhole, mind elsewhere.

‘It’s no’ for me to say,’ he says, hoisting a shaggy eyebrow.

I slowly start to climb the spiral staircase, calling in at the greenroom on the way for a brew.

‘Company manager’s been looking for you,’ grunts one of the lighting guys from behind his Autocar magazine.

‘Right. Thanks,’ I say breezily, spilling milk everywhere, my stomach dropping ten floors. Surely not? I mean, I saw Sophie barely two hours ago. I watched her performance from the darkness of the stage-right wings and she was on fine form, giving her ‘I-love-you-but-we-must-part’ speech.

It was at that point that I’d decided to make a break for it. Technically, I’m not supposed to leave the building until the curtain comes down, but I’ve religiously watched and mouthed every performance from the wings of Brighton’s Theatre Royal, to this, our final fortnight at The Dukes in Edinburgh. With just five minutes of the matinée left, what could possibly happen to her?

Mistake no. 1: leaving theatre early
Mistake no. 2: gorging on all-you-can-eat buffet
Mistake no. 3: succumbing to large glass of house red
Mistake no. 4: ordering garlic bread
Mistake no. 5: forgetting to switch on mobile phone
Mistake no. 6: arriving five minutes late for ‘the half’

‘… so, the silly cow’s been whisked off to A&E to have it x-rayed. You know what this means?’ says Simon, our company manager, running his hand nervously through his mop of unruly hair.

An eerie sensation ripples through my body. I feel a stab of guilt. My visualisation powers have taken on a telekinetic life of their own, like in some Stephen King horror film. I hadn’t intended anything serious to happen – just a minor ailment, something to lay her low for a week, a cold perhaps, allowing my agent sufficient time to arrange invitations and tickets for casting directors and producers.

I swallow hard and force my lips into a weak smile. There is an expectant silence. This is the stuff of Hollywood musicals: the leading actress is taken ill, and the understudy has to take over at short notice.

I can do it. I’ve been practising for months, says the heroine, with an assured toss of her pretty head. Bravo! More! A star is born! This is the moment I have waited for, longed for all these weeks, these seventy-two performances, so why do I now have this overwhelming desire to flee the theatre and catch the first National Express coach out of town? Well, apart from my all-consuming guilt, the auditorium will be packed to the rafters with legions of excited fans waiting to see Sophie Butterfield and her co-star, Rick Romano, give their highly acclaimed, headline-grabbing performances as star-crossed lovers, Constance and Enrique.

The fact that their on-stage passion has spilled over into reality has fuelled the public’s imagination. The House-Full sign is now a permanent fixture on the pavement, while armies of eager punters camp outside in all weathers, hoping for returns.

Exquisite pairing! The chemistry between Romano and Butterfield is electric. Beg, steal or borrow a ticket! ~ The Billingham Gazette

This romantic duo sets the stage alight. You’d be mad to miss it! ~ The Yorkshire Evening Post

‘You up for it?’ Simon asks, knowing full well it doesn’t matter whether I’m ‘up for it’ or not. Why else have I been travelling up and down the country, getting paid £500 per week plus touring allowance? So I may sit in my dressing room, stuffing my face with Hobnobs and tea whilst reading trashy magazines, or to be allowed to finally finish reading Doctor Zhivago, which I started back in 2010?

Nah – if it’s all the same to you, Simon, I’d rather give it a miss.

About the book:

It’s never too late to follow your dreams… Forty-year-old air stewardess, Emily Forsyth, thought she had everything a woman could wish for: a glamorous, jet-set lifestyle, a designer wardrobe and a dishy pilot boyfriend. Until she realises he’s cheating on her… Catapulted into a mid-life crisis she wishes she’d had earlier, she decides to turn her life upside-down, quitting her job and instead beginning to chase her long-held dreams of becoming an actress!

Leaving the skies behind her, Emily heads for the bright lights of London’s West End – but is it too late to reach for the stars?

What the reviewers say:

‘A perfect antidote to all the bad things in the world.’ ~ Jen Med Book Reviews

‘An inspiring novel about female determination.’ ~ Chapter and Cake

‘Perfect for fans of Marian Keyes and Sophie Kinsella.’ ~ Culture for Kicks

About Jane:

Jane taught English in Vienna then travelled the world as cabin crew before making the life-changing (and slightly mad) decision to become an actress in her mid-thirties. She has appeared in Calendar Girls, Deathtrap and The Curious Incident of the Night-time in London’s West End. She is currently writing her second book and a six-part comedy drama for TV.

How did you feel when you finished the book?

My book was my therapist when I was going through a painful divorce. Through my writing I re-discovered my sense of humour and my self-esteem.

I felt something positive had been born of a sad situation. The book symbolised the new, strong, happy, independent me.

The extract is light-hearted and amusing.  I immediately engaged with the narrative voice.  The best of luck to Jane with this novel.  I hope this will be The Start of Something Wonderful for her writing career.

You can find Jane on Facebook www.facebook.com/janelambertauthor
or Twitter @janelambert22

She’d love to hear from you!